FAQs

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS (FAQs)

Q1. How are you? How are you feeling?

A-   Good.

Q2. So are you cured? 

A- err..no..not really..well yes..for the time being..not in treatment.

Q3. So are you feeling good?

A- well - good within the framework of cancer.

Q4. How's the food?

A-   Great!

Q5. So why are you not eating this? Or that?

A - actually am following a diet.

Q6. Which diet are you following?

A- my own diet plan - after trial and error.

Q7. Really? And your doctor allows?

A- err..never ask him.

Q8. Can you drink?

A- YES!

Q9. Doesn't alcohol cause cancer?

A- yeah. But I already got it. A beer or an occasional martini won't kill me-;)

Q.10. Do you go to work?

A- yes. I do. Every day. For a few hours - as many as I can manage.

Q11. Do you go out?

A. Yes I do. Choose the occasions and the timing. 

Q12. Are you on chemotherapy?

A. No I am on Stand By.

Q13. How do you pass time?

A- I don't. Time is passing me by.

Q14. ( some times) and Sunita- you have been dying to say something?

A- err. I am dying. I mean we all are..I mean yes.. I wanted to say...

Q15. What is your prognosis?

A- Don't know. Don't want to know. ( go google on OVC stage IIIC!!!!)

I UNDERSTAND

I UNDERSTAND.

This statement and its presence in my life is almost hysterical. In the last two years, the amount of things I have 'understood' as well as the amount of times I have been 'understood' would easily be beatific if not saintly. Since I have 'nun' such ambitions, have found the most peaceful way to move forward in life is with a gentle nodding of the head and a quiet, " I understand".  So if its an uncalled for situation - I understand ( my heart battles on the inside with the right kind of words) ; if some one is insensitive, "I understand".  If there is a pitiable excuse for a last minute cancellation," I understand". If there are no-shows/ slip-of-mind/non-acknowledgement,"I understand". "I understand" the neuropathy, the pain, the silent symptoms that you cannot even voice. "I understand" that some of the people around me have chosen silence whereas others have chosen inane conversation and yet others are giving a whole new meaning to existence. "I understand". As do others. I hear these words said to me as often as I say them. I could be breaking into a helpless tantrum; being late for an appointment or even be in a plain bad mood.."I understand" is the magic password.

So what do I understand?

That in all likelihood I will die of a toxic overdose of understanding - after all there is a limit to how much of one thing one person can digest-;))

The 5 year conviction

FIVE YEAR survival rate is the benchmark of a cancer prognosis. You are considered a survivor if  you stay cancer-free for five years. Or your prognosis is based on the "five year" statistics of  the kind of cancer you have been diagnosed with along with the stage it has been discovered at.  Any time that you are able to stretch over and above the five years is a bonus. So five years as a term and as a time period become your  mental goal posts. There are no hard and fast rules. As I said, these standards are based on statistics and statistics too keep evolving. But five years is the long and short of it.

So what's this about Salman Khan conviction? Five years? Too long or too short? Or not at all - as we witnessed the quick facility of bail accorded amidst the eieieio of FIVE YEARS.  

Spirituality Ahoy!!

Spiritual / Spirituality - these words connoted a personal space, whatever it meant and however you practiced it -  in my growing up years. When and how they became the "business" of every one around must have happened in the intervening years. I seemed to have missed the hype or perhaps unconsciously kept it out of my radar. But whoosh!!! How these words keep getting swept under my nose now that I seem to be in a tight corner, errr..spiritually. 

Born in a liberal Sikh home, schooled in a Convent School and read the underlined and foot-noted English version of the Quraan ( as guided by Papa to 'know' before speaking) , studied almost every metaphysical school of thought as part of the Philosophy degree, survived the very very turbulent time in Punjab, the base of which was religion and survived with all bonds intact, married into a Hindu family, raised a child to think for himself -  thinking and believing that my theory of  honesty of intention, kindness & compassion in words and action & along with a listening ear is a  good spiritual companion.

But then cancer happened. And no one wastes a second in demolishing a lifetime of belief  and throwing a new theory to PRACTICE  straight onto your face. This leaves me gaping usually, some times in amusement and others in irritation. I respect that my loved ones pray for me - please do, you are supposed to -;)) - but to expect me to suddenly take on Godly matters into public space and to start doing rituals just because I seem to be in need. Sorry folks! I still abide by my theory of  life and if you abide by yours - factor me in your prayers- but don't pressurize me to do what you do. Respect. Thank you. Happily equipped forever.