I UNDERSTAND

I UNDERSTAND.

This statement and its presence in my life is almost hysterical. In the last two years, the amount of things I have 'understood' as well as the amount of times I have been 'understood' would easily be beatific if not saintly. Since I have 'nun' such ambitions, have found the most peaceful way to move forward in life is with a gentle nodding of the head and a quiet, " I understand".  So if its an uncalled for situation - I understand ( my heart battles on the inside with the right kind of words) ; if some one is insensitive, "I understand".  If there is a pitiable excuse for a last minute cancellation," I understand". If there are no-shows/ slip-of-mind/non-acknowledgement,"I understand". "I understand" the neuropathy, the pain, the silent symptoms that you cannot even voice. "I understand" that some of the people around me have chosen silence whereas others have chosen inane conversation and yet others are giving a whole new meaning to existence. "I understand". As do others. I hear these words said to me as often as I say them. I could be breaking into a helpless tantrum; being late for an appointment or even be in a plain bad mood.."I understand" is the magic password.

So what do I understand?

That in all likelihood I will die of a toxic overdose of understanding - after all there is a limit to how much of one thing one person can digest-;))